When I were a lad

I dreamt I put a plastic bag over my head and died. In the middle of the Glenshane Road. :(

wut

wtf was this all about hi? i was in a fairly old house in the middle of a forest with a fast river in earshot, and me and bradford cox and some norweigan / finnish girl (one of the two) were getting well high blud
the instrument at first appeared to be a bong, but on closer inspection twas actually a massive massive (at least ten metres high) conical flask with a green potion in it, which I assume was getting us high blud
and then the flask started te fall apart and something
something else and i realised i shouldnt have let the potion sink into the ground

then i ended up in a quiet belfast street driving a green VW polo. i had a conversation with kyle and then started reversing widly, a la the controls on GTA4..i reversed into a wall and i think the dream ended there

Westlife hand delivered their new album to my sister

My sister and I were sitting about in our granda's yard, at the doghouse. All of a sudden the boys from WESTLIFE turned up walking towards us very slowly carry their brand new album AND singing "World of Our Own"! A bit like this but not really:

The lads skidaddled off after handing us the CD. I wanted to rip it onto me iTunes but my sister wouldn't let me.

Heh.

Samantha Mumba was headlining Glasgowbury 09 last night

Now this is a dream I wanna see come true.

A dream about the new Thomas Truax album

Finally received my special edition copy of Songs from the Films of David Lynch in the post. I was all YES! FINALLY! WOO! And then I listened to it.

Waking-up thoughts: DAMMIT! I'll just have to Spotify it for the time being.
Dream rating: D D D D D D D D D D

I don't really understand this one

The ambling countryside, cycling up and down scenic back roads. My good friend falls off his bike and cuts his knee.

"I KNOW!" says I. "I'll call 999!"

I trek to the nearest house and lo and behold, there's a funking house party gan on. My old school pals are there but they are laughing at me. I ring the Emergency number.

"Hello Emergency services speaking"
"Hello my friend is dieing out here OMG!"
"I'm sorry but we do not attend calls unless you tell us your NHS number"
"WTF?
NO WAY!"

So I trek back to my friend and the family have appeared and are already healing him of his injuries. I look at the moon in bemusement. Hmm.

A trip to Belfast

So my mate rang me right, "I'm in Derry, can you drive me to Belfast?" and I was all "Aye no bother" so I drove into Derry and it was raining and dark and shit. He was in a car park near the Guildhall and then I drove for a bit in the rain and the dark and pulled into the fire station. Then I tried to reverse out into the road again but the road was too busy so I couldn't. Then a firemachine tried to pull in and was all "Get the fuck out of the entrance!!" Then my mate said "I don't want to go to Belfast anymore" and I was like "FFS" and "Well give me money I need to go to the shop" and he was like "no lol" and i was like "aye gon ye hoor" but i found money in the car anyway and went to the shop and bought me some M&Ms muthafucka. I downed the pack of M&Ms like i do in real life. Then I was driving him home and he said "Hi im going to your house" and i replied "NO it's messy" and that was that.

Letterkenny

Driving Grandad to Letterkenny Hospital in an old volvo, accompanying us are family + cat.
Upon leaving them all off I cruise around the car park and carry the cat for a bit
I walk up to the reception and the hot russian doll is talking to my mum in German.
I take the hot russian doll aside, make sexytalk to her but then I wake up

Thoughts: Hot russians are hot
Rating: 6/10

ok so it turns out rammstein are playing in dublin (from the brain archives)

ok so it turns out rammstein are playing in dublin so me and my cousin (a christian) decide to head down to see them
however the venue is actually a field in the grounds of an old castle beside my house and the stage is being built while the audience fills up
then i bump into a guy from the year above me (also a christain) and am perplexed at hows he recognises me. it turns out this is because i have had a haircut and a shave :(
As the crowd increases lots of young christians that i know start jumping around where the bouncers are. im unsure as to why there are christians in my dream. god must be telling me stuff
rammstein come on the stage and start playing but they are playing happy music and are smiling and wearing lipstick. i start jumping around but till lindemann tells me off and the guy beside me - a balding middle aged man in a suit - isnt too impressed either
i decide to head home but i havent booked flights so i do so on the internet. the destinations i am given are different periods in german history, eg Holy roman empire, prussia etc. I dont like this and end up in another local field

Thoughts when waking up: Fuck you, Dream. I want to see Rammstein NOW!
Dream rating: 8/10

ZOE FUCKING SALMON!

summary
i went on holiday to somewhere
and then i appeared round the side of my house
and sayid and ben and YOUNG ben were all standing together
and then sayid was all "WTF! THIS IS YOUNG ME!" *spazzes* (confusing)
then it sorta shifted to GTA4
and i went up a multistorey car park to shoot some bad man in an office
shot him
and then it shifted to the road above my house
i was in some gang in a truck
being chased by the police
shootout
i jumped out of the truck
and started shooting at one of the policewomen
i went right up to her to shoot her
but it jammed
and the policewoman was ZOE FUCKING SALMON!
and she said to me "What arr you doin wi your gun like thatt?" (in belfast accent)
and i was all FFFFF UUUUUUU-
started shooting wildly at her and the moustachey cop across the road
ran down the road
but got shot anyway
died
screen went all b/w just like in GTA4

Thoughts when waking up: Fuck Zoe Salmon's hot
Dream rating: 8.5/10